As published on additudemag.com

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head that you can’t get rid of it?  The other day I saw a commercial for Green Giant™ vegetables and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get this tune out of my head.  Over and over again I caught myself thinking, humming, and singing “Ho, Ho, Ho, Green Giant.”  You know the old saying, if you can’t beat em’ join em’?  So I went with it and thought about green giants to trick my mind into thinking about something else.   Lo and behold, somewhere in between my strategy and the quick rapid firing thoughts of an ADD’er I made a connection from giants to failing at my attempt to growing my own vegetable garden.   It’s no secret to friends and family I am a Betty Crocker – Donna Reed wanna be with little to no success.

I began to ponder how it is I can be a competent business owner and founder of a learning center for kids and adults with ADHD and yet be a hapless home diva that can’t put a meal together without burning it!   Now I know I am not the only ADDa Girl facing this dilemma of running circles at work but yet can’t seem to get the house clean or face those dirty dishes and mind numbing chores.    What I realized is I am not comparing apples to apples.   Work and home are two very different environments.  We are required to perform at work and held accountable for our actions.  This in itself increases our adrenaline like a gun to the head.  We must be prepared for the meeting, arrive on time, and so on.  We are given immediate feedback and measured on our achievements or lack of.  At home we are left to our own devices.  There is no structure to get our frontal brain lobes in gear to do mindless boring tasks.   The key to home success is to recreate an environment that simulates work.  Set up your time hour by hour of what needs to be done.  Hold yourself accountable by reporting to someone what you have accomplished.  Make deals with family members and trade off tasks that are harder for you to do. 

 

Realize it’s not trying harder but working smarter.   Don’t compare yourself to others.  Give yourself permission to do what is reasonable for you and take shortcuts.  Allow yourself to make those cut and slice cookies instead of from scratch!  Accept you are doing the best you can despite a  brain that is not working up to full capacity.  Would you expect a paralyzed person to walk?  Give yourself a break and know you have a medical neurobiological based disorder.  You may not be a domestic goddess but you have many other talents and positive attributes.  As I say this to you I reaffirm for myself it’s okay to boil frozen Green Giant ™ vegetables instead of growing my own vegetable garden!    So say goodbye to Martha Stewart and embrace your ADDa Girl.  Remember, you’re amazing, dynamic, determined women with ADHD! 

ADDa Girl

 

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