Maintaining Routine and Structure for Kids with ADD/ADHD
If you’ve heard it once you’ve heard it a thousand times, kids with ADHD need routine and structure. Getting there is another story, especially if you as a parent suffer from ADHD as well. You can’t give away what you don’t have and realizing this is the first step. I can’t tell you how many parents I have worked with who time and again are unable to create and develop a structured environment for their child towards teaching these basic skills. Just like you must know the alphabet first to read, you will be fighting a losing battle if you First and foremost, get a diagnosis.
Having Little Success Maintaining Routine and Structure?
This is a common problem even with all of your best intentions things somehow fall along the wayside to the demands of life. Your child may be on board in the beginning, when it’s new and exciting, especially if rewards are involved. But gradually the newness wears off and your back to square one again. You’re doing more of the same, directing, reminding, and nagging. You may be so frustrated that you start to dread each day and resent your child for ‘not caring enough.’ I’m not going to give you the standard tips and strategies as you’ve most likely tried many things and quite possibly are at your wit’s end.
The Real Truth About routine and Structure
Sure, you can research online and find tons of strategies and tips on time and organization from color coding to scheduling. That’s another article for another time. Before any of those things will work you need to be in the right frame of mind. Having a grasp on the difficulties your child is having comes down to really understanding how her brain is wired.
Everyone is Doing the Best they Can
Even though your child may yell at you, lie, and act like they just don’t care nothing could be further from the truth. Look beyond the smoke and mirrors and see the pain behind the behavior. Maintain your role as an adult and do not behave in a childlike manner by going down to your child’s level. Work on self-control by managing your emotions. This can be tough to hear for parents as having a loved with ADHD is tiresome, pushing you to you limits!
Don’t Give Up ~ Coaching Can Help
Routine and structure only works when they are stuck to on a consistent daily basis and become a way of life. A coach helps to soften power struggle between parent and child. The most effective way I have found it to work with both parent and child. Telling your child what to do causes often causes resentment and doesn’t teach problem solving skills. When your child is involved, she will most likely take some ownership as a result of feeling validated. It takes time, but the results are well worth it. You can get your sanity back and have a more peaceful home by using this approach!
