A.  Children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD) need lots of structure and strategies to accomplish tasks that may seem ‘easy’ or ‘common sense’ to others.  Many children with ADHD often ‘shut down’ when overwhelmed and often ‘act out’ when confronted with meeting parental expectations, like cleaning their room, as they have no idea how to start and finish.   By cleaning his room for him to avoid a meltdown you are actually reinforcing and rewarding your child for inappropriate behaviors.  Of course this is not your intention, but the cost of ‘keeping the peace’ backfires in the long run.   It is better to be prepared to endure the ‘meltdown burst’ to teach your child life-long skills to manage himself and the expectations of others towards becoming an independent adult. 

No worries, your child can learn how to clean his room with consistent practice.  First you need to define what ‘cleaning your room’ means to your child.  Break down what is to be done in order by creating a list on poster board and placing in his room.   Laminate the poster board so your child can use a wipe off marker after he completes each step.  Practice with your child by showing him how to do for each item on the list.  For example, if you want him to put his clothes in the laundry place two baskets in his room. He will put all the whites in the white basket and the darks in the dark basket.  If you would like him to pick up his shoes place a plastic shoe holder that is hung over his bedroom door to put them in.   Assess your child’s belongings and provide a ‘home’ for them his room.  One child I worked with loved baseball cards, he knew exactly where they were, strewn all over his bedroom floor!  I worked with his mother to devise a system of placing them in plastic card holders and organizing them in binders by leagues, teams, hall of famers, and positions. The child was proud of ability to manage his cards as was his mother.   Break down each task and practice with your child until he masters each one independently, and the next time you say ‘clean your room’ your child will know exactly what to do! 

To set up a system for chores read my article exclusive web article on at

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/9110-5.html

Linda Karanzalis with Dr. Ned Hallowell

 Highlights of CHADD Conference

Theme:

Creating Better Tomorrows moving forward to help those impacted by ADHD and surrounding issues. 

Opening Keynote:

Timothy Wilens, MD, Harvard Medical School discussed the challenges of youth with ADHD, ages 15 -26, and brain growth during these years based on a study of young adults.  The study indicated the frontal lobes of the brain showed large changes up to the age of 30, this is great news!  Parents, in time your children will develop  'executive functioning skills' which are crucial to life success and independence.  As your child continues to develop and move through this phase there is an increase of risk taking behaviors and substance abuse.  However, with the proper medication, coaching, and treatment these behaviors can be decreased with ongoing support.

ADHD Gift or Curse?

Presentation by Drs. and Ned Hallowell

For years there has been a misconception about this topic between the two leading experts.  A lively and informative debate set the record straight! This was a wonderful explanation of how ADHD is a very serious disorder and not a gift, but that doesn't mean those with ADHD are without talents.  However their talents are in spite of ADHD not as a cause.  Dr. Ned Hallowell spoke about how the founder of "Jet Blue" Airlines who has ADHD made millions of dollars in one day and instead of celebrating went home feeling like a failure and high school drop-out.   The toll ADHD takes on children and adults continue to follow them despite their successes.   Parents need to provide ongoing support to build self-esteem.  At ADDvantages  we provide this support,  you are not alone!  As many of you know I am passionate about helping children achieve and feel good about themselves! 

Mark your calendars, next year the conference in San Franciso, CHADD will be celebrating its 25th Anniversary!  CHADD continues to advocate and education on a natioal level,  Please support the by becoming a member.  You can do so at www.chadd.org

ADDvantages Updates

Kidz Coaching Groups, Enroll Now for January!

6 weeks $220.00  Class Topics Below

Self esteems (ADDa Girl) for girls with ADHD

Siblings of Special Needs  (Dr. Diane O'mara)

Death/Dying Support Group (Dr. Diane O'Mara)

Divorce/Separation Support Group (Dr. Diane O'Mara)

Study Skills

Remember, Success Tomorrow Starts Today to Develop Your Child into an Independent Self-Sufficient Adult!

Puzzle Alarm Clock

This clocks wakes children up by firing four puzzle pieces in the air.  The child must put them back in the alarm clock to turn it off, requiring physical activity is the key to get kids up and moving.  You can purchase this at gizmodo.com

KuKu Alarm Clock

This clock crows and lays eggs.  It won't stop chirping until you've returned the eggs .  To view this alarm and more go to uberreview.com

What are your Strategies for Getting Your Child Up in the Morning?

Linda Karanzalis, M.S., is an adult with ADD/ADHD, a learning specialist, the founder of ADDvantages Learning Center, and an ADD/ADHD coach who specializes in helping both children and adults with ADD/ADHD and learning disabilities to reach their potential.You have permission to republish this article as long as it retains this information box and the link.

LIndaKaranzalis©2011

by Linda Karanzalis  (re-published with permission from ADDitudemag.com)

Quick word-association game: When you hear "chores," you think "stimulating," "fascinating," and "creative," right? Fat chance.

Even for people without attention deficit (ADD/ADHD), chores are nothing short of torture. But they also help lay the groundwork for success in life — forcing us to clear the clutter, establish priorities, and be held accountable to family, friends, and colleagues.

In fact, research conducted recently at the University of Minnesota concluded that the best predictor of young-adult success is not IQ or even internal motivation, but rather chores. The earlier a child starts doing chores, the more successful he will be.

Now, here's the problem: ADHD brains don't produce enough of the neurotransmitters needed to maintain sustained focus. This chemical imbalance makes it tough for children with attention deficit to complete anything, let alone boring chores that provide none of the stimulation or feedback that engages an ADD mind.

Thus the "chore wars" — a daily reality in many ADHD and non-ADHD households. As parents, we know that chores help our kids develop the life skills they need to become independent adults. But we also know that the fight can be exhausting — sometimes more exhausting than just doing the work ourselves.

But this stuff is important, and behavior modification can help. So here are some tips and pointers that will help you (along with a lot of perseverance) implement a consistent, accountable routine of chores in your household.

What Is Behavior Modification?

In layman's terms, behavior modification involves identifying inappropriate behaviors and implementing methods that will fix them. This often means changing your child's environment and improving your ability to follow through.

The goal is to gradually decrease undesirable behaviors and reinforce appropriate behaviors by using a token system based on rewards and consequences. You know you're on the right track when the intensity, frequency, and duration of the undesirable behaviors decreases.

Behavior modification comes down to consistency, consistency, and more consistency! This means you must respond the same way each time your child demonstrates an inappropriate behaviors, and follow through with consistent rewards and consequences. No matter how tired or frustrated you feel, you cannot give in to your child’s whining, yelling, outbursts and tantrums (unless he is hurting himself, others, or destroying your home). When you cave in, you teach your child that she can get what she wants by increasing out-of-control behavior.

Make a list of strategies for maintaining your self-control. How you will handle resistance? Will you take deep breaths, count to ten, ignore and proceed with what you were doing as if nothing is happening?

If you lose control how can expect for your child to stay in control? Actions speak louder than words, do what you say and say what you do. Easier said than done, especially if the parent also has ADD. Therefore, you must have a plan and a support system in place before you implement behavior modification.

All of the adults in your family must be united and respond the same way to inappropriate behaviors. I always tell parents you either "pay now" or "pay later" as your child becomes older and the problems become bigger.

Rewards and Consequences

Step One: Schedule specific chores for each day of the week.

Step Two: Each day your child completes her chores, she earns the use of electricity that day. That means iPods, TV, computer, PlayStations, etc. Make sure each day is a fresh start with the promise of rewards.

Another option is the marble-in-the-jar method. Each time your child does a chore, he puts a marble in his jar. Determine marble values for a menu of rewards, and allow your child to cash in his marbles for prizes at the end of each week.

Rewards by age

A reward is something special that your child would not otherwise receive. And remember, rewards cannot be taken away once they are earned! A few ideas…

• Play date
• Sleepover
• Later bedtime
• Special alone time with parent
• Out for ice cream and/or dinner
• Movie with a friend
• Trip to the dollar store
• Coloring books
• DVD
• Gift cards
• Clothing
• Indoor rock climbing
• Manicure or pedicure
• Sports event
• Extra computer time
• Books
• Magazine subscription

Do:

1. Create and post a chore list for your child
2. Model good behavior for your child
3. Select types of tokens ( i.e. chips, marbles)
4. Choose rewards to motivate your child
5. Visually post rewards menu
6. Set deadlines for each chore
7. Create a contract that both you and your child sign
8. Expect resistance 10. Be consistent and follow through on promises

Don't:

1. Change the plan and confuse your child
2. Give in to inappropriate behaviors
3. Shout to your child from another room
4. Take away earned tokens or rewards
5. Lose your temper
6. Give in to avoid conflict
7. Make rewards too hard to earn in the beginning
8. Delay in giving your child immediate feedback

Chores for Younger Children with Your Help in the Beginning

• Make bed
• Pick up toys and books
• Sort laundry in to light and dark baskets
• Feed pets
• Wipe up messes
• Dust
• Water plants
• Set the table
• Clear off table and load dishwasher
• Rake leaves and pull out weeds
• Put away groceries
• Rake and bag leaves

Chores for Teens

• Mow lawn
• Wash car
• Shovel snow
• Fold clean clothes and put away
• Do own laundry
• Vacuum
• Mop
• Wash windows
• Iron
• Clean room
• Light home maintenance, painting, paint deck, etc…

Linda Karanzalis, M.S., is an adult with ADD/ADHD, a learning specialist, the founder of ADDvantages Learning Center, and an ADD/ADHD coach who specializes in helping both children and adults with ADD/ADHD and learning disabilities to reach their potential.You have permission to republish this article as long as it retains this information box and the link.

How to Reward Behavior Without Technology

By Linda Karanzalis (re published with permission from ADDitudemag.com)

Screen Time

"The thing that motivates my 11-year-old son with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) is screen time — whether on the computer or watching TV,” one reader tells us. “He gets one hour a day during the week and two hours a day on the weekend. Unfortunately, it's about the only thing that motivates him. I wish I could find something new."

By Linda Karanzalis (re published with permission from ADDitudemag.com)

"I know ADHD kids need consistent routines, but what can working parents or parents with inconsistent schedules do to help their children?" one parent of an ADHD child asks.